


And We All Fall Down

by Poison_Bubble



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Both these boys are idiots, Culture Swap, Dib is a little internally racist youch, Dib is now the invader, Earth is a galactic empire now, GIR's a babysitter bot, I don't make the rules I just abide by them, Irk is basically old-timey steampunk lmao, It's basically Jasmine AU??, M/M, My sister did all the amazing art again!!, Rating may change depends on how I feel, Red and Purple are married, Slow Burn, This AU has been haunting my mind forever I needed it out, Zim hacked him ofc, Zim is babey but also Stupid sometimes, Zim is royalty instead of an invader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:01:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22206784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poison_Bubble/pseuds/Poison_Bubble
Summary: Irk is a secluded planet in the middle of nowhere, at war with itself as many planets are. Zim is one of three Royals; created once a millennia to help lead Irk and deal with political matters. There's just one problem: he hates it. The only thing he's found solace in is performing every now and then in a grungy bar located in a back-alley.The Earthen Empire is a feared, galactic superpower slowly taking over all of space. Dib is NASA's best invader, sent to scope out a newfound solar system deep in nowhere space. Little did he know there might be something out there worthwhile,,,
Relationships: Almighty Tallest Purple/Almighty Tallest Red, Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 64





	And We All Fall Down

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again!! I know I've been gone for awhile, and I know this is the lAST thing anyone expected, but here's a new story, featuring my sister's amazing artwork once again!! Honestly, this one's been bouncing around my brain cell for quite awhile now, and it was starting to nag at me, so I had to get it out! Also, in case anyone's worried, no this is nOT replacing Will You Be My Maybe. Nothing ever will, I swear I'm working on it! I just hit some hella writer's block, and instead of just pushing through it and churning out something I don't really like, I worked through it by starting a new fic and refreshing my love of writing! It really does do wonders, lmao. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this one, I've had a ton of fun playing with cultures and different perspectives! It's one of my favorite things to explore how different people would react to the same scenarios and environments!
> 
> 1 Irk year = 10 Earth years

**Irk**

  
  
  


A deep hush filled the dark room with anticipation as the giant machines worked without falter. It had been yet another millennia, and the time had come to bring a new mind to life. This one, unlike the million others generated every other week to perpetuate the War, was special. This one was built to lead.

The Brains completed their preparations, and a blank irken body was selected from the Smeetery below the ground, a long wire delicately bringing the tube up into the machine and placing it in the designated position. As soon as the cold metal locked into place, the tube drained out its life-sustaining liquid; and the small smeet within began to cry. The cries were quickly drowned out however, the noise of the whirring machine echoing throughout the chamber, its lights glaring an almost impossibly bright pink. The room began to shake with the velocity of a burning sun; until there was no sound, and there was no light. 

And then, the Brains spoke. "This day is one of rare occurrence. It is only once every millennia that a new Royal is created. We have devised this one's PAK with elite programming for optimized ruling. Young smeet, identify yourself." 

The small creature in question had just been spat out of the machine, brought into a cold and hard world that it knew everything about. It knew its purpose. It knew its culture. It knew its proper response. And so the small creature waited the respectful three seconds customary in order to regard the Control Brains and smiled. "I am Zim. Third living Royal to Irk. And I shall rule."

  
  


**220 years later**

  
  


Zim shot around the corner at a speed guaranteed to lose the soldier running after him desperately. He then leapt up onto the nearest windowsill and looked out over the view below. Technically, should he gravely injure himself in any way, his advanced PAK healing technology could repair him within thirty seconds. The only problem with that is that thirty seconds was plenty to be swept up and locked in his chambers again. He had to get out of the palace's reach, at least until the meetings were all over. Zim despised political meetings…. They were boring, and useless, and no one listened to his ideas anyway, so what was the point in sitting still in a glorified chair for four hours? Besides, Red and Purple handled political business just fine on their own, they had for an entire millennia before Zim even existed, so they'd be just fine for a few hours. But before Zim could project just how messed up his body would be from a fall this distance, he heard a terrifying voice booming down the hall.

"Hey, Zim! The meeting started five minutes ago, I know you knew about it, don't lie to me!" Red glared daggers at Zim's current position, one leg dangling out the window and the other barely reaching the floor for purchase. 

Zim was short. He knew this. No one ever let him not know it. A short Royal? How could that even happen?? Royals were the Tallest! They were the leaders, after all. You can't lead if you can't even look over all your people and sneer, right? Red and Purple never shut up about it. Apparently they had both requested Zim be executed and a new Royal be created; one with a reasonable height to lead. But the Control Brains had refused, explaining that the amount of energy needed to create a Royal was so much it could only be done once every one thousand years. This news was probably the worst news the two other Royals ever had to live with. But they sure weren't going to live with it without making Zim's life miserable in the process.

"Good luck even getting up on that windowsill, Zim. Honestly, you're better off actually trying to be relevant in a diplomatic discussion."

"If I'm so useless then why do you want me in there anyway?? I don't want to be there, and it's obvious you and Purple don't either, so what's the point of forcing me to listen to your disgusting drool all day?!" Zim screeched as he bounced feverishly, trying to get his other leg over the ledge of the window.

Red slumped his head forward as he grumbled, "It's not up to me, Zim. Trust me. If it were, you wouldn't have to worry about  _ anything _ , much less diplomatic meetings."

Zim squinted his eyes at Red as he ceased his jumping and opted to try and pull his leg off the ledge without falling on his ass. "Are you…  _ threatening me _ ??"

Red sighed as he turned back towards the meeting room. "Whatever you want, Zim. Just- stay out of the way… if you can even do that." Saying this, Red walked through the large, purple doors, leaving Zim struggling to yank his foot back into the confines of the palace walls.

  
  


**Earth**

  
  


Dib walked briskly towards the Commander's office as he looked over his planet case files for his next invasion assignment. Apparently NASA had discovered a new solar system with their droids, and it was Dib's mission to be the first ship to explore it. Of course. Dib wasn't much for theatrics, but he had to question this particular assignment. He was NASA's best invader; he shouldn't be sent a million lightyears away to some back-burner solar system! He should be out on the frontlines, leading the Armada in the name of conquest!

Dib knocked one time before letting himself in and slid the case files passive-aggressively towards where the Commander was calmly sipping her coffee, one leg crossed over the other. "What the fuck is this?" Dib asked, crossing his arms and locking eyes with the Commander.

The young woman in question raised one eyebrow, finishing her black coffee and slowly setting it down beside the case files. "Hello to you too, Dib." Gaz responded, turning towards her computer and not even bothering to look up at her brother.

Dib fumed, stepping closer and slamming his hands down on the desk, making sure to press into Gaz's personal space. "Why am I being sent to go collect fucking rocks on some nowhere planet in some nowhere solar system??"

Gaz sighed, finally turning towards Dib with an apathetic expression. "Listen, we don't know what's out there. I'd rather be safe than sorry if it's some Resisty hideout they've been hiding from us. I'm not sending inexperienced scientists and invaders to a solar system we know nothing about."

"Oh, but you'll send one expendable invader, is that it?"

"I never said you were expendable. Listen, Dib, as much as I hate to say it, you're good at what you do. I didn't want to send an entire fleet in case there was nothing out there, but I also didn't want to take any risky chances. You're the best bet we've got in this circumstance." Dib grumbled under his breath as she continued. "Honestly, I thought you'd be more excited about this. This is the first new solar system we've discovered in  _ years _ . Who knows? Maybe there's something cool out there."

Dib huffed as he turned to leave, realizing he had better luck trying to reason with a stubborn Vortian.

"Oh, and Dib?" Dib turned his head back towards Gaz, his hand on the doorknob. Gaz was busy working at her computer, but she was pointing towards the desk. "Don't forget your case files."

Dib took his time leisurely walking towards the ship bay, reading then rereading probably the shortest case file he'd ever seen. In the folder there were two blurry pictures of seemingly desolate sand planets, taken from probably millions of miles away. Dib couldn't tell anything about the first two planets in the system, except that they looked boring as hell. And, for such a long trip, it really didn't seem worth it. But orders were orders, as much as he wanted to burn the useless files and move on. Somewhere deep down, Dib knew Gaz was right in being cautious. It was why she was Commander, after all. The possibility of the Resisty seeking far-off, desolate systems to set up base was pretty likely. They may have been the worst resistance Dib had ever had the displeasure of knowing, but they were certainly competent enough for that one.

Dib sighed as he prepared his ship for takeoff, flipping switches and checking all the lights. He might as well get this over with. And, as he triple-checked his systems and put in his coordinates for autopilot, he thought back to what Gaz had said and laughed under his breath. "Who knows… maybe there's something cool out there…." His ship hovered for a moment before shooting out of the bay. He had a long trip ahead of him.

  
  


**Irk**

  
  


Zim hummed to himself as he sat before his mirror looking over his tools for disguise. He wasn’t new to sneaking out, and he had done this exact routine probably hundreds of times within the past year. But something in him was still cautious to the possibility of being caught by the palace guard, or worse, being recognized in public. Being a Royal, his duty was to sit in meetings of all kinds and look pretty. He wasn’t meant to weigh in on the issues, per se, due to his age and level of education; and his height kept him from being taken seriously any more than people were forced to because of his inherited status of being a Royal. So, out of stubbornness and sheer boredom, Zim created his own role to play; one that had nothing to do with the grandiose life he was forced into. Zim leaned forward as he dipped his brush in the light green liquid and began applying it on his forehead, dabbing it over the light gold crown insignia marking him as a Royal. He then dusted his cheeks with a sheer pink and lined his eyes with charcoal, making sure to bring the shape of his eye up with wings. He smiled as he looked himself over in the mirror. Technically, paint was never used by Royals as a presentation for how perfect they were naturally, that they didn’t need any sort of enhancements; but Zim liked the way it made his eyes pop. Plus, wearing paint lowered the suspicions of those around him significantly. There was one time were Zim had walked right past some royal guards, and they were none the wiser. Satisfied with his look, Zim headed over to his large walk-in closet and made his way to the very back. There was one outfit in particular he wore to his performances, and he had made a sort of character out of it. It was a white dress reaching just above his knees, made of a shimmering fabric that appeared prismatic in the light. He pulled the garment from its hanger and slipped it on over his head, observing himself as he adjusted the skirt. It fit his form well, and was functionally sleeveless, with drapes of sheer fabric billowing down his arms, leaving his shoulders exposed. His back was also visible, a teardrop opening starting at his shoulder blades and dipping down to the small of his back, showing off the subtle curve of his spine as he turned in the mirror, the fat, round swell of the drop on his upper back, hugging the shape of his PAK. He then slipped into his black, slender heels, effectively making him three inches taller. It wasn’t enough to earn any more respect than his natural height, but Zim didn’t mind. In fact, part of the fun of going out was to experience something he couldn’t at the palace. That being genuine people speaking their genuine minds.

Zim breathed in deep as he nodded to himself, checking the time before hastily making his way towards his window. He’d need to be quick if he wanted to make his time slot.

“Maaastaaa? Where are you goooing??” Oh. Zim turned to look behind him towards his bed where his obnoxious Royal Assistant was looking up at him with large, cyan eyes. Zim tried to come up with some excuse, but before he could, the robot spoke again. “Are you going to siiiing again?”

Zim shushed the robot as he anxiously flicked his gaze towards the door. GIR was being far too loud for this late in the night. “Yes, GIR, I’m singing again. Now shut up before you make it so I can’t.”

“CAN I GO WITH YOOOOU??” GIR excitedly bounced on the bed as he said this, making more noise than Zim thought possible when on a bed.

Zim rushed over to where GIR was and picked him up so he couldn’t keep making so much sound. “ _ Shhhh _ !! No, GIR, you can’t come. You’re a dead giveaway. Just stay here and  _ stay quiet _ !!” Zim whispered as he held GIR up to his face, hoping that’d make the message come across more clearly to his dysfunctional robot. GIR just nodded and smiled, Zim letting out a breath of relief before putting him down and making his way back towards the window. 

Zim lifted one leg over the ledge and then the next, making sure to keep his balance as he reached for the nearest branch of the tree right outside his room. Just as he shifted his weight over to the tree, GIR screeched from the bed loud enough to echo around the large room and out the window, “GOOD LUCK SINGING, MASTA!! HAVE FUUUN!” Zim nearly fell, glaring towards where he knew GIR must’ve been bouncing on the bed, hoping Red and Purple were too lazy to come into his room to explore whatever the fuck the robot meant. Zim waited a few moments in the dead quiet of the night before deciding he was probably safe and making his way down the rest of the tree. He had a performance to get to.

  
  


**A ship in the buttfuck of space**

  
  


It had been six months since Dib had left NASA's Elite Ship Hangar, which was an exceptional amount of time considering the Earthen Empire had the fastest ship technology in all known space, thanks to Vortian and Earthen scientists collaborating endlessly to create newer, faster ships almost every month.

Dib was busy blurrily watching the stars whiz by as he tried drifting off to sleep to help pass the time. He's done this many times since he'd exhausted all other forms of entertainment, having watched all of Mysterious Mysteries four times and played all two Gameslave games he'd brought. But insomnia was a bitch, and he knew as well as the stars that the likelihood of him actually falling asleep was closer to zero than one on a scale of one hundred thousand. He sighed, rubbing his puffy eyes behind his skewed glasses and opting to trying to fall asleep to the thrum of the vibrating proximity alarm. Wait. Dib sat up immediately, his head reeling from the breakneck speed at which he did. He then snapped his gaze towards the holo-map projecting on the round, bubble windshield of his ship. He was near his assigned solar system. 

Despite Dib knowing the likelihood of something actually being out this far, he couldn't quench his childlike excitement towards exploring a new system. So many new planets… new possibilities… possible new lifeforms! He immediately scrambled towards his recorder, swiping it off the charging dock and hitting record as he held the device to his lips. "Document 1, Mission New System, this is Invader Dib Membrane, flying into new solar system now. Nothing remarkable discernible yet besides the occasional space rock and a few looming sand planets in sight. Location 16943, Beta Sector… what'd you name it, Gaz…." Dib peered over his shoulder on the surface of the small coffee table that held his open case files. "...Beta Sector Vera. Can't be far from where the droids took the pictures." He paused as three other planets came into view, two other sand planets similar to the ones Dib had already passed, and one planet that was strangely… pink? Dib blinked, holding the recorder closer to his mouth as he steered the ship towards the oddly colored planet, his heart rate increasing with his excitement. "Approaching center system, a new development has occurred. The fourth planet in Sector Vera is actually... pink…. I'm getting a closer look." As Dib flew in closer, his anticipation only grew. "Planet has two discernible suns, an apparent atmosphere, and… holy shit, are those lights??" Dib dropped the recorder in his excitement, realizing this planet seemed to harbor intelligent life. He quickly set his ship to auto-land in the most secluded place it could find and ran towards the back of his ship where all his tech was. "Computer! Send out drones and scan the planet's surface for all intelligent lifeforms, then get back to me when you're done!"

" _ Ughh, fine. Scanning planet for lifeforms, I guess _ ," the Computer responded with a displeasing groan, Dib rolling his eyes. Why he got stuck with the sarcastic AI assistant was beyond him. He assumed it was some sort of prank Gaz thought was funny years ago.

Dib strapped his holo-watch on his wrist as he jumped into the pilot's seat, his eyes hungrily watching as thousands of new species flashed on the screen, loading faster than Dib could process. The flashing slowed down as Computer discerned the dominant species of the planet, finally displaying what its intelligence could gather from its vantage point. " _ Dominant species of this planet known as 'irken,' social hierarchy seemingly based on height, a government similar to a Controlled Monarchy, ongoing civil war between North and South _ ." Dib listened, nodding along as the Computer droned the information it collected via its camera drones. This planet seemed to be rather intelligent, with culture and government…. This was going to be fun.

"Computer, are they a space faring race?" Dib asked, activating his ship's cloaking technology as the vessel approached the planet's atmosphere.

" _ No, they seem to have inferior technology and are planet bound _ ." Computer responded in a tone indicating disinterest. 

Dib hummed as the ship found a back-alley to land in. It was dark, indicating it must've been night, and the ship seemed to have a hard time finding any secluded area, which meant the entire planet must've been rather industrious. Dib took a mental note of this as he looked over the 3D holographic display of an 'irken,' a rather small looking creature with similar forms and facial features to humans but with small differences here and there. Irkens had no ears and no nose, and they seemed to only have four fingers. Dib tilted his head as he swiped the image from the dashboard holo-dock to his watch, the image shrinking to fit the dimensions of the smaller device. "Pinkies are relatively useless anyway," he mused to himself, activating the bionic holo-disguise and observing himself in the mirror to the side of his windshield. He laughed as the bug-like antennae twitched on the top of his bald, green head. He tilted his gaze in the mirror, flicking his eyes to the left then the right, observing how his eyes had no sclera or pupil, but were instead a single, bright shade of blue. The eyes were also large and circular, almost like an ant's. Dib then noticed a round, bulging shape protruding from his back as he turned, a soft blue glow the same shade of his eyes emitting from circular patches in the metallic frame. "Computer, what's that?" Dib asked, his brow knitting together in confusion.

" _ It's just guesswork here, but I'm assuming you mean the machine on your back _ ?" Dib rolled his eyes as the Computer continued without waiting for a response. " _ That's what the irkens call a 'PAK,' it's essentially their life force and entire being programmed into a compact device connected via the spine. Without it, they're basically blank, cloned bodies. It's some pretty messed up shit _ ."

Dib pondered this new information as he turned this way and that, trying to get a clearer view of the machine itself. "Can it be hacked?"

" _ Probably _ ," the Computer responded. 

Dib's gears started turning as he took off his glasses and requested Computer create the irken version of them with his prescription. The Computer begrudgingly complied, 3D printing a pair of silver goggles that Dib immediately slipped over his head, beaming at his final look in the mirror. "Computer, is my uniform fine to wear, or should I change into something else…?"

" _ Bodysuits are fairly common on Irk, and black with blue accents doesn't seem to indicate any unwanted political messages, so you should be fine _ ."

Dib nodded firmly before picking his recording device up off the floor and holding it up to his lips. "Discovered intelligent life on the fourth planet in the Vera Sector. I've disguised myself as the dominant species known as 'irkens' and am preparing to walk out of my ship. NASA Station Time is 16:00, it is unclear what time it is where I am, but I'm assuming night. Approaching outside world now. I'll update any developments on this log. Invader Dib, signing off."

  
  


**Irken Performance: Smokehouse and Bar**

  
  


Zim peaked through the crack in the curtains, looking out at the crowd gathered to watch him perform, a familiar tingle of excitement as he bounced a bit from the anticipation. The makeshift stage he stood on was made of creaky wood, but the sound couldn't be heard by the audience over the loud music and boisterous chatting. Zim loved this place. It was small, and dingy, and dirty, and sometimes you couldn't see or breathe in all the smoke, but it was the most  _ real _ place Zim had ever been. Well, it was one of the  _ only _ places he'd been, but that was besides the point.

"Heya, Miz, performing tonight as usual?" a large man wearing ill-fitting black pants and an even worse fitting 'formal' jacket with a stained tank top beneath spoke suddenly, scaring Zim and making him jump. But as soon as the figure stepped a little closer and lit his thick cigar, wheezing as he breathed in his first puff, Zim immediately recognized him as the boss of Irken Performance, and effectively also his boss, Gorg.

Zim's eyes lit up with excitement and gratitude as he consciously lowered his antennae to be further from the smoke. "Of course! Miz wouldn't miss performing here even for the Royals! Thanks again for letting me sing, it really is a nice break from my everyday life." Zim made sure to keep up his fake identity, Miz, a simple, everyday, normal irken with absolutely  _ zero  _ connection to any Royalty or politics!

The gruff man chuckled deep in his throat as he clamped his hand down firmly on Zim's slender shoulder, but it came out as more of a thick cough than any hearty sort of sound. Zim jumped a bit from the sudden contact, but he stayed where he was; he didn't want to upset his boss right before his time to shine. "Young boy, I wouldn't miss any performance from you for anything." Saying this, Gorg turned and walked back to his office behind the stage, where he always insisted on watching Zim's performances from 'the privacy of his own space,' on a small screen Zim knew he had in there.

Zim shrugged his shoulder around in circles, trying to get the strange feeling of sweaty, clammy hands off his skin before his time slot, his antennae still craned back away from the lingering smoke. Satisfied the gross feeling was gone, Zim smiled. What a nice man, letting him perform for free at his establishment! 

Zim's thought process was interrupted as his intro-music began playing, people in the audience loudly whooping and hollering in recognition of the show to start. Zim stood on the red X on the stage, careful not to put too much weight on the center of the marking, as he knew the floorboards would break if he did. He closed his eyes and breathed in deep, pointing his toe and cocking his hip, his hands gripping the hem of his skirt as he turned his head gently to the side. This was his starting position. He was ready. And so, the curtains drew, and the show began.

  
  


**A Secluded Back-Alley**

  
  


Dib stepped out of the ship and stretched his aching legs, breathing in actual air for the first time in half a year. Granted, the air wasn't the best he'd breathed, given he was in an alley outside of an apparent smoke bar, but it wasn't artificial, recycled air, and that's all he cared about. Dib took a resounding four steps before he caught a whiff of some fried food and nearly drooled. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until that moment, though it made sense; he'd run out of food rations about a day ago. Dib grimaced at the door to the smoke bar apparently called 'Irken Performance,' this was not the kind of place he wanted to explore. So he lifted his watch to his mouth and whispered as quickly as he could, "Computer! Is there any other food place nearby…?"

" _ Not unless you want to walk at night for a few miles on an unknown planet, no _ ."

Dib nearly deflated, his stomach growling for attention as he stood outside the door weighing his options. It was while he was weighing all the incredible cons that he heard an alluring instrumental emitting from the bar, and his curiosity peaked enough for him to cave and cautiously enter.

The first thing Dib noticed was how beaten up the place was. The building was made of old brick and rotten wood, and the smoke billowing into the air reflected the little light there was. It reminded him of what Earth may have looked like centuries ago, before the Empire expanding past their home solar system took precedence and Earth was converted into a militaristic training base.

Dib squinted in the dark as he watched where he stepped; there was broken glass and random trash every other step, and he really didn't want to end up with a used alien syringe in his foot. 

He made his way over to the bar and sat down, his body turned towards the stage as he thumbed half-heartedly through the sticky menu, his goggles automatically translating the strange alien language into something actually discernible. He hummed as he noted how most of the options were incredibly sweet, and all the other options were simply sweet to a lesser degree. He needed something actually sustainable that wouldn't poison him, was that so hard for aliens to accomplish? He thought back to when he had conquered Vort; they didn't really have any good foods either. At least their couches were comfortable. He laughed under his breath at the memory.

"Hello, young man! Welcome to Irken Performance! Anything look good to you? Ha, besides Miz, of course! Unfortunately, that one's not for sale, aha!" Dib tried to hold back a grimace as a skinny irken wearing an apron and a name tag reading 'Gashloog' approached him from behind the bar. 

Dib flicked his gaze back towards the stage as the irken performing moved with practiced ease as the instrumental continued. Dib was surprised when the alien began to sing, a full and smokey tone carrying the melody across and around the small building. "Miz? Is that the performer's name?" Dib asked, turning back towards the tender, who was watching the stage with hungry eyes.

"Huh? Oh, yea, that's Miz alright. He shows up almost every week! He's a real treat too," Gashloog said as he slumped his head down on his hands, his elbows on the bar.

Dib looked back at the stage, observing how the small irken had a great amount of skill for some beat up bar like the one he was in. It was strange to Dib, but the irken  _ was  _ pretty short, probably around five feet; so if the social hierarchy really was based on something so ridiculously primitive as measurement, maybe this was the best Miz could get at his height.

Dib turned towards the bartender again and ordered a couple fried donuts, one of the healthier options from the menu, and opted to watching the small singer twirl, fractions of light glimmering off his dress as the smoke curled around his feet. Dib felt almost sorry for Miz, being forced to make ends meet by performing in such an objectifying place, the patents whooping and whistling as he danced and sang. It didn't matter for long anyway; once Dib was finished with his job, the Earthen Empire will sweep in and make a better life for everyone here. Primitive societies crumbled when given free choice like this, that was evident. The Empire fixed everything.

After the show and a couple fried donuts, Dib felt sick in more ways than one, having breathed smoke and grease for about an hour before leaving back into the alley. It was almost sad that Dib was relieved to breathe in the smell of sewage water. He brought his sleeve up to his face and sniffed, reeling back and coughing from the overwhelming scent of cigarette smoke clinging to his uniform. He'll have to wash it at least twelve times to really cleanse it after leaving that place.

Dib quickly checked to see if anyone was watching and opened the hatch of his ship, hopping in and throwing off his gross bodysuit and heading towards his closet to pull on a clean one. After he felt comfortable and clean again, he switched off his holo-disguise, having forgotten to do so earlier, and called NASA. Gaz answered, one eyebrow piqued as she observed the messy environment Dib had been stewing in for the past six months. "Commander Gaz, how are you this fine evening?" Dib asked, moving to block her view of his ship.

Gaz sighed as she took a sip of coffee, her hair frazzled and her skin pale. "Honestly, could be better. Frontlines have been having some issues, they keep complaining about you being sent out to Beta Sector Vera. Bunch of pussies, all of them. If I had any less sense than I do, I'd call you back."

Dib laughed at that, flicking his gaze from the video feed of his sister and the outside world beyond his windshield. "You're not gonna believe this, but I've actually found alien life out here."

Gaz's eyes widened as she abruptly leaned forward. "Resisty? Did you find their base??"

Dib looked down, a bit embarrassed his discovery wasn't as great as she'd been expecting. "Not… exactly, no. But it's a new planet!! I've already landed and set my disguise and everything-"

"Dib-"

"Yea, I know, I know, it's against protocol or whatever, but I'm fine. I was cautious, and used cloaking, and was disguised the whole time, blah, blah, c'mon Gaz! You know me! You know I'm not an idiot."

Gaz sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose. Her brother always was a handful. "It's not about whether you're an idiot or not, Dib. It's about sticking to the rules. I can't keep covering your shit. I'm done with you doing whatever the hell you want and not considering how that impacts other people. You know the rules, now act like it."

Dib leaned further into his chair, physically backpedaling away from another one of Gaz's lectures. "Fine, fine. Hey, at least I'm calling you  _ now _ , I could've set up my base and everything without wasting all this time going over trivial information," Dib muttered under his breath as he crossed his arms and continued to shrink down into his chair.

Gaz rolled her eyes, taking a long sip of her coffee before asking about what really mattered. "Did you at least come up with a game plan while you were breaking all the rules?"

Dib snorted at her comment, still feeling a deep, burning need to defend himself from her gaze. "Of course, I'm not some juvenile. Ok, so my ship landed right outside this weird bar-like place? Most of the things I came across there were useless, but I found something interesting. There was an irken on some crappy stage who was singing and dancing; but he seemed  _ way  _ too skilled to be there. He was also wearing some fucking fancy clothes and was clean, unlike everyone else in the place."

Gaz tilted her head to the side as she typed out what Dib told her, humming affirmations every now and then. "So… you're thinking he could be useful somehow?" Gaz asked, looking up at Dib and waiting for an answer.

"This is a classic governmental take-down scenario; these people have some corrupted controlled-monarchy system or something, it'll be a piece of cake to make it crumble. All you need is to take it down from the inside-"

"And who better has a connection to corrupt governments than rich people; Dib, that's genius!" Gaz interrupted, putting the pieces together.

Dib nodded, his smile widening as his excitement built off of Gaz's. "Exactly! I got his performance schedule and everything, so all we need to do now is wait."

"That's some good shit, Dib. I'm still mad about your lack of initial communication, but you're free to set up your base as you see fit now that you have a game plan. Good luck, invader Dib. Commander Gaz signing off. Hail Earth."

"Hail Earth."

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my friend, you've reached the end!! But not for long! Also, the song Zim performs is most definitely 'Good and Evil' from the Jekyll and Hyde musical. 
> 
> Thanks for stopping by on the journey with me, I'd love to hear what you thought! Feel free to leave kudos, those are delicious, yum yum. I'll try to update as fast as possible, but adhd is a bitch, and I never know when inspiration will come and go!
> 
> Check out my sister's tumblr and instagram for more art!!  
> https://rabuubunni.tumblr.com/  
> https://www.instagram.com/rabuubunni/


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